April 2011
12 posts
3 tags
On the Doghouse
You will do something wrong. It will be minor and I will in turn “be a girl”, making your day not so delightful.
For this indiscretion, please say “I’m sorry,” compliment my shoes, and remind me how brilliant I am.
Oh no, we’re not done.
A token of your affection will be received with open arms.
Please choose from the following:
1. A giftcard (Sephora,...
4 tags
On Health
The following is a list of who I look to as “healthy relationship role models” :
-Ice T and CoCo
-Wilma and Fred
-Zach and Kelly Morris (I just know)
-The Cosbys
4 tags
On Comfort
No matter how bad life is, I will never wear a mui mui.
I don’t care if Great Aunt June does have a nice selection of floral fabric.
4 tags
On Shaking It Like a Salt Shaker
By now I know you did not pick me because of my most excellent dance moves. Though I feel my “grocery cart” is above-par and I know my running man is in the top 2%, I may not be the most coordinated with movements.
This does not give you free-reign to laugh at me as we are speeding down the Interstate.
Yes, I think the car is a perfectly safe place to practice the moves I acquired...
5 tags
On Eggs (over easy)
I like brunch. I feel like a grown-up with polished silverware, mimosas, and multiple courses.
But let’s be honest; I’d rather be at Waffle House.
May I have your toast?
4 tags
On the Seventh Day
You get Sunday mornings.
Lazy, in bed, political-show-watching mornings.
4 tags
On (my) Momma
I promise to not complain about my crazy southern mother daily.
That’s all you get.
5 tags
On Choice
I may occasionally curse like a prostitute who moonlights as a trucker.
Don’t correct me.
I’m choosing my words carefully.
On Team Spirit
I know you know I’m secretly staring at #42’s ass in those glorious football pants. But at least I’m not talking during the game, right?
4 tags
On Sharing
I promise only half of the shower will be filled with “chick stuff.”
And maybe the linen closet.
You kind of enjoy smelling like raspberries, don’t you?
4 tags
On Oceanic Creatures (who give chase)
If you are against a week of every television in our shared living quarters being tuned to Discovery Channel 24 hours a day that one glorious week in July, then I suggest you price line a hotel now.
And do not judge me for getting excited when the sharks chase people.
3 tags
On Warmth
I promise to let you turn the thermostat down.
Even if it means wearing a sweatshirt in July.
You better find it sexy.
Or lie.
At least I’ll know when you call me “hot” you are referring to my kick-Angelina’s-behind sexiness.
